Milk Paint Makes Me Mad

They said it would be clumpy. They did not say there would be a miiillllllllion clumps that would get everywhere.

They said it would take more than one coat. They did not say it would take ten coats and most of the $28 quart of paint for a small project.

They said it would be weird to work with. They did not say it would be tear-your-hair-out, throw-the-whole-project-out-the-window, curse-the-day-you-ever-saw-milk-paint FRUSTRATING to work with.

I still believe in milk paint. The way I believe in astrophysics and French pastry...magnificent in the hands of a master. Nothing but disappointment to someone like me.

Where's my glossy white latex paint bucket?